


shots! shots! shots!

by booabug



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Drunkenness, F/M, I cant believe i wrote this but at the same time OF COURSE i wrote this, Reveal, partial reveal, the initial posting embarrassment is over I take it back this is a great reveal, the worst reveal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-04 14:46:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14022543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/booabug/pseuds/booabug
Summary: Having (somehow) just won an akuma battle while Ladybug was completely, utterly drunk, Chat Noir tries to make sure she can get back to her night safely. Ladybug is grateful. For everything—ever—so she hugs him, and he hugs her back, and they hug and talk. The hug is comfortable. The talk is not. It's really not.Talking to the woman you never really got over about your (lack of) sexual activity never is.





	shots! shots! shots!

They bump fists. _“Bien joué!”_

“Especially considering how drunk you were the entire time,” Chat Noir goes on with a lopsided grin.

“Yeah,” Ladybug snort-laughs. If the Louvre exhibited sound recordings, that would be in the collection, he thinks. “So much for being a role model. It’s just been us though, so it’s fine! It’s fine. You’re the only the one seeing me like this.”

“For now,” he says. It’s bad form to leave together when they’re both running out of time, but someone has to help this poor drunk woman.

After a giggling _‘Oh!’_ when being pulled in, Ladybug doesn’t really hold on to Chat securely. He’s careful in getting them both airborne, and switches to carrying her once they’re on a rooftop. He asks, “What’s got you so sloshed, anyway? Don’t tell me you were at home on a Friday night, no company but a bottle of wine, singing the blues... That would break my heart.”

“So dramatic,” she says. She says it with the exact same affectionate exasperation as when she’s stone cold sober. Nature is amazing. “I was clubbing with my friends. Not wine, shots. Shots. Shots, shots, shots!” she chants.

“Shots,” he agrees, putting her down with a snicker. “You alright to get back yourself? I used Cataclysm way later, I could run you back real quick.”

Ladybug doesn’t respond, just looks at him with a gentle smile.

“Something wrong?”

She says, “You’re nice.”

He grins and shakes his head, putting his face in his palm.

“You’re always nice. You’re a good guy. A good, good, nice guy. A good boy,” Ladybug steps in to pat him on the head.

“Thanks, I- oh, okay,” Chat laughs and wraps his arms around her when he finds himself lady-hugged. “You’re good and nice too.”

“I’m so glad you’re my partner,” she says softly. “You’re not just my partner, you’re one of my best friends in the entire world. I’m so glad you’re in my life, Chat Noir. I’m so glad.”

That makes him smile. Not the way he’s been smiling all night—because his staunch, determined lady had been sassing the akuma villain at least as much as him, all bubbly and giggly—but the quiet way you smile when there’s nothing in your head that doesn’t make you smile.

He can’t say anything for a while. She keeps holding him.

Chat finally manages a _‘_ _you too_ _’_ and a few pats on the back.

“You know what else? You’re fun. Club’s gonna suck after being with you. Night ruiner,” she mumbles, “You’re too fun. You’re a danger to the public, you fun man.”

He snorts. Well, that changed the mood quickly. “Excuse me, I am a protector of the public even in clubs. I’m designated driver tonight.”

“Ah-ha!” she exclaims. He thinks the lady-hug is over when one of her hands leaves his back, but she keeps her arms around him. That was probably just so she could point at him, or... something. “So you were having fun in the club! Typical.”

“I’ll have you know I typically never go to clubs.”

“Pfft, please,” Ladybug blows air, into his shoulder, still holding him, “You’re a club guy. You’re such a club guy. You’re that flirty club guy who buys girls drinks and charms them into going home wi-”

She stops. She pulls back to look at him.

“Whoa, whoa, wait. I’m not. I told you, I usually don’t even go out,” Chat says. He holds his hands in the air to either side of her, since he can’t put them where she can see them. “I’m honestly not that guy.”

Ladybug doesn’t look convinced.

Or he thinks she doesn’t. It’s hard to tell. The look on her face is still mostly of the drunken _‘I’m not entirely sure wh_ _o_ _I am’_ variety.

He still feels judged.

“Okay...” she says, “If you were that guy though, and if you were, I’m not saying there’s necessarily anything wrong with that, ‘cause I trust you’d be a good guy about it-”

“Right! Good guy, also a guy who wouldn’t feel right-”

“-You’d be using protection, right?”

“Ladybug!”

She pouts at him. “Now that I think about it, I worry, _minou_ _.”_

“You don’t have to! You don’t!”

“Promise me,” she says, “Promise me you’re having safe sex.”

“I’m not having any kind of sex at all!”

She blinks at him.

Chat Noir has never been so uncomfortable in his life. He doesn’t think it’s even possible to blush any more than he is right now.

“Really?” she asks.

“Really,” he nods vigorously. “I only got dragged along so my friends could stay out after the metro closes! I’m not a pick-up artist or something.”

“You mean to tell me,” she knits her brows, “You walk around looking like that and don’t have sex at all?”

He was wrong. He can blush more.

“Is there a reason why you don’t have sex?”

He was very wrong. “Uhh...”

“Oh!” Ladybug’s eyes widen. “Oh, no.”

She groans, burying her face into his shoulder. “Forget I said that. Please forget I said that. I am so sorry.”

He’s about to tell her it’s alright when she scolds herself, muttering so quietly it’s only audible because he’s transformed, “You can’t just ask people why they don’t have sex, Marinette.”

Chat Noir chokes on his own saliva.

“... Ma- Marinette?”

**Author's Note:**

> [Crossposted on Tumblr.](http://booabug.tumblr.com/post/172025660598/shots-shots-shots)


End file.
